Forum: Close to Home
Topic: Looking for the words to say to my sister
Topic Posted by: Sheila (fredwalinc@juno.com )Date Posted: Tue Mar 31 11:47:11 1998
Topic Description: I was speaking to my 16 year old sister the other night (before series was on). First some background - our brother is an addict and my boyfriend is a recovering addict/alcoholic. We've seen the destruction, the transformation, the whole bit. However, she told me she doesn't think there is anything wrong with getting high, and mentioned a few people (my age, 27) who use and are fine. In fact it's better than cig. I was stunned at what to say. I am hoping to watch Part 4 with her and wish I had seen Part 1 and 2, to be able to point out the physical and mental things drugs do to your body. Why is not everyone who uses an addict/alcoholic - I don't know, but the only way to know is to become one. What a way to find out. If anyone has any ideas that I can use, please let me know. Addiction scares me and I know it will be easier to stop it before it even starts. Thanks
Posted by: Connie (celiason@eoni.com )
Date posted: Wed Apr 1 11:41:04 1998
Subject: response to "words to say to my sister"
Message:
I feel for your situation. I come from a long line of alcoholics on my mother's side of the family. My mother was an alcoholic; and a wonderful woman. She died two years ago at age 64 of cirrhosis of the liver. I watched her slowly kill herself, and the final two months were spent in the hospital with many painful procedures. One of the last things she said to me was "I'm scared". It broke my heart. I knew it was probably the first time that the reality of her drinking finally had broken through her denial. She finally "got it", but it was too late. She died within an hour of that. I miss her terribly. And now my older sister is showing the same behavior. I only have one sibling, and sure don't want to watch her go down the same road. It's a long road. And full of pain, sadness, and a lot of suffering. The only thing I can suggest is to look your sister in the eyes and with all your heart say to her "I don't want you to die". I said those words to my mom one time years ago, and it was the only time I ever saw a spark of recognition in her eyes that maybe she really could die from her drinking. It quickly went away as her denial gripped her mind again. I always wonder if I had been more persistent, that maybe she would still be alive. Just keep saying it to your sister; let her know you really mean it. Maybe it will have an impact. Good luck.
Posted by:Robert G. Karol (Feedback@BobKarolRICO-INFORMANT.com )
Organization:Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Informant/Victim/Witness
Date posted: Tue Mar 31 19:46:36 1998
Subject: How to convey information about the consequences to drug use/abuse
Message:
See my message posted on the Forum: Close to Home
Topic: Child abuse/neglect involving addicts who are parents
Topic Posted by: Robert G. Karol
Date Posted: Sun Mar 29 13:19:29 1998
The best thing you can do for your sister, is to expose her to the true experiences of persons who lost control over their lives because of their choice to use illegal substances. If she is too stupid to realize the negative consequences and chooses to use, there is nothing you can do for her. You can attempt different forms of intervention if she begins using, but there is no guarantee that your efforts will be successful, since the person using must want to discontinue using in order to obtain help.
The information contained on my web-sites located as links in the header of this message, describe my experiences with persons who were using heroin and cocaine ( besides alcohol and cigarettes ).
I know from experience, that you can not control an adult's behavior unless you lock them up for 24 hours a day. Unfortunately, people can choose to use substances which may, or may not, lead to addiction and addiction's dire consequences. The best way to prevent a person from beginning to use substances which may, or may not, lead to addiction, is by educating that person to the possible negative consequences if they decide to begin using a substance.
The only thing a person can do to prevent another person from becoming a narcotics addict, is to educate them to the consequences of narcotics use and the process of addiction. Not every substance is addictive and not everyone becomes addicted to a substance that has the potential to lead to addiction. Although the properties of some substances will result in addiction, if the person using it, chooses to continue using that substance. Their continues use will eventually escalate over a period of time and result in addiction.
I have known many people that used and did not become addicted. And I have known others who chose to use and became addicted in a rather short period of time. Some people have a higher level of self-control and others seem to lack self-control. Those with a higher level of self-control, seem to monitor their use and keep within a certain boundary that lets them lead a normal life without adverse effects to their personal life.
Others let the substance take control over their life and let the substance dictate their behavior, in regards to maintaining a continual "high" at any cost to the user or to the others around the user.
I became involved with persons who used substances, after I graduated from high school in the 1970's. Over a period of 10 - 15 years, I associated with persons who maintained control over their use of various substances. They maintained normal lifestyles, held good jobs, paid taxes, and did not engage in any other crimes other than narcotics violations related to their use.
In 1989, I met a group of persons who were a different type of user, as these persons were engaged in a substantial amount of criminal activities at that time, in order to support their "habits". They had lost all self-control over their use of the substances they chose to use.
Those persons became engaged in criminal activities which victimized others, as they supported their narcotics addiction via committing a broad range of State and Federal offenses to pay the tremendous costs associated with their addictions to those substances.
They were involved in organized crime and racketeering in Detroit, Michigan during the 1980's and 1990's. The detectives from the Detroit Police Department's 13th Precinct protected a public bar that was a prostitution front in which these persons operated out of.
I became a federal Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations informant in February 1990, in order to protect a baby that was being exposed to heroin and cocaine by it's mother, who was a prostitute narcotics addict. It took over 20 months before any government agency would intervene on behalf of the baby.
The mother began with cigarettes and alcohol and graduated to snorting cocaine. That was not enough to satisfy her needs and she began using heroin ( "raw" ). She eventually began "booting up" dope, because a person needs increasingly larger doses of "smack", in order to obtain the "high" a "junkie" "fiends" for.
Her pimp and another pimp, went on to become an "accessory to murder" in February/March 1991. Federal law enforcement failed to halt their criminal activities which I was making known ( since February 1990 ) to the following federal law enforcement agencies: the U.S. Secret Service ( credit card fraud, welfare/food stamp fraud); U.S. Customs Service ( money laundering ); I.R.S.-C.I.D. ( tax-evasion ); Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms ( weapons violations ); Drug Enforcement Agency ( narcotics violations ); Federal Bureau of Investigation ( tampering and retaliating against a witness, victim, informant ); U.S. Postal Service ( receiving stolen credit cards obtained by a postal worker via theft ).
What starts out as having a "good time" by getting high, ends up destroying the person who becomes an addict to illegal substances that they crave and binge on after losing their self-control to the forces behind these substances. People will resort to a life of crime in order to obtain their daily supply of substances, that ultimately take control of their lives as they continue to increase their use of those substances over the course of time.
What everyone tends to forget, is that almost every person who uses these substances, CHOOSES to begin using them, by seeking them out or by sharing them with friends that make them available to them. The only exception to this, would be in the case of the baby who was being exposed to heroin and cocaine by it's mother, during which time, I had been making this known to local, state, and federal government agencies that failed to take any action during the course of 20 months.
Based on my personal experiences, nobody cares about dope fiends and crack heads. And the government does not care about the children of these addicts or the future costs to society, when those children turn into juvenile delinquents that eventually graduate into career criminals when they become adults. The tax-payers are pouring billions of dollars into the coffers of law enforcement, the courts, and other social agencies, in the hopes of maintaining control over an epidemic that has been raging since the Harrison Act was passed in the early 1900's.
How much crime would vanish if illegal substances were made legal and dispensed by doctors in order to abolish the inflated costs of these substances on the Black Market which continues to function in spite of the government's efforts to contain it ?
Would a greater number of people begin using these substances if they were made available ? Or is there a set number of persons within society that "choose to use" no matter what barriers the government puts in place in order to prevent this type of behavior ?
Over 70% of the prison population in this country has a history of substance use and/or abuse. Violent crime is a direct consequence to the price of substances that cost pennies per does to manufacture, but cost hundreds and thousands of dollars after they become outlawed by governments. In the meantime, people continue to begin using substances, without regards to the consequences to their behavior associated with the use of these substances.
Exactly who gets hurt when a person "lights up a joint", snorts a "line of coke", or "shoots up a bag of dope" ? Just the user who chooses to use ! Society gets victmized when that person has to engage in committing crimes in order to afford the cost of those illegal substances.
If, and when cigarettes go up to $20 a pack in the future, then smokers who do not have the means to support their "habit", will be forced to make a choice - continue using at any cost...or cease using !
Of course drugs are not the only things that people become addicted to. Sex, money, power, violence, food, etc.....can all lead a person down the road to addiction, leading them to self-destruction and harm to others. Kind of funny that only drugs get the limelight when it comes to addiction. But that's "politics" !
Cynically yours, Robert G. Karol
R.I.C.O. Informant/Victim